Thinking of You
Today, I want to talk about a powerful bond with a certain guitarist. It was because of that bond that, years later, I was able to dedicate a song to him. The track is titled "Pensando en Ti" (Thinking of You). Although it is a song about a broken heart, the sole reason I included it in the album and recorded it to the end was that unbreakable bond with the guitarist who co-composed it (most of it being his work).
Lyrics
For a long time, all alone,
I have been facing the past.
Everything I ever loved
is now left behind.
When night falls, I look for you,
asking myself what I could have done.
You no longer sleep on my chest,
but on someone else's.
In this present moment,
I don't know where to hide.
Since you are not there,
I no longer know where to run.
When I think of you,
I see, day by day, the pain
you leave inside me.
And lying there, defeated,
are the dreams we built,
the family with you.
Nothing is left anymore.
Yet years pass,
and my life goes on.
Someday that day might come,
a day when I can love someone again.
When I think of you,
I see, day by day, the pain
you leave inside me.
I just want to forget everything,
to start over, to live again.
There is one thing I want to tell you—
listen closely to what I am about to say.
When I think of you,
I see, day by day, the pain
you leave inside me.
To honor the memory of how this song came to be included in the 2013 album Asthma Mental, I want to remain faithful to what I recorded back then. Therefore, I quote here the journal entries from that time discussing the track.
This song was composed by my guitarist friend, Nicolás Alvarenga, during our time in a former supergroup that was meant to go far. We met at the conservatory and formed a band together, but the behavior of the other members—if not outright irresponsible—was incompatible with ours. So, we split off to launch our own project, and after a while, brought in our friend Fede as the drummer.
Of course, this unfolded over two or three years of getting together, going out on weekends, and composing. Since we had gathered some of the best musicians we knew, every single one of us was convinced that this would be our final, definitive project in life.
Our journey required months of composition. At first, we rehearsed at Nico's house, but later we got permission to practice in a semi-private studio in Adrogué. We made the absolute most of it, deeply thrilled to hear our work bearing fruit inside those four small walls.
Nico used to practice 12 hours a day. He didn't work, he didn't go to school; he was entirely consumed by playing the guitar, sometimes even postponing meals for it. As a result of demanding so relentlessly of himself, he unfortunately developed irreversible acute tenosynovitis one day. Despite consulting dozens of doctors, specialists, and alternative treatments, nothing worked.
This made it impossible for him to pursue his dream, and the band naturally dissolved. On top of that, two months later I learned of my partner's pregnancy, bringing new responsibilities that made any chance of reuniting the band even slimmer.
That is why, years later, I picked up this song again. I only remembered the chorus composed by Nicolás, while I had written the rest. Relying on faint memories, I sketched out at least the chords and melody, and rewrote the remaining lyrics.
In one of the last conversations I had with Nicolás regarding this, he told me:
"You are a great singer. You have technique, a good tone, and charm. And rock flows through your veins. What more could you want? Haha. Seriously, Iki. No joke, everything I said is true. The band broke up because I couldn't go on anymore. I truly regret that we couldn't make it happen. Please, do it for me. When that day comes, I will see it as a victory for both of us. We felt so much together, and we had great chemistry. We shared the exact same thing."